Not so pissed

I'm not so pissed anymore. At least, I felt better today and yesterday. Not sure why. I hate to think that my mood is tied to men, but I have to admit that my outlook with regards to the opposite sex has improved. Not so much that I think I'll be in a relationship soon, but just that it might just be OK if I'm not. Even though that'll kill me. Well, it won't really, but it will. Sigh...maybe I should just talk about what's going on in my life and stop trying to figure things out.

So, I've been playing a boatload of tennis. At least once a day, and sometimes twice a day. It's been fun. I'm going to miss playing in the morning once I have to go back to work.

I think I'm over the boy thing. I'm not worried about some improper behavior from the trip coming out and losing my job. I didn't do anything illegal. I did do some things that I probably shouldn't have been doing, but we all have lapses in judgement sometimes, and mine wasn't too terrible, considering the mitigating factors, so I can still hold my head up high and just admit that yes, I made a few poor judgement calls, but I'm still a good person, and even good people make mistakes. If I didn't make mistakes, I wouldn't be human, right??? So, if something happens (which I think is highly unlikely), I now feel like I can face the music and take my lumps. I have a plan. That'll make anyone feel better.

So I went out with Anthony last night. I don't know what it is about Anthony and me, but every time we go out "as friends," something happens, and we have a tendency to want to be something more than that. It's not just him - it's me, too. He is a VERY attractive person, and he's a great guy, so I can see why I keep getting swept up. But why I don't STAY swept up, I don't know. He did tell me he has learned some new "tricks," and he wants to demonstrate them on me. Ooooo la la!!! Maybe now things will stick - you know me - if the physical is going well, then I'm hooked!!! I told him that perhaps we can do something another time (he was begging me to come back to his place). I also told him that I want a relationship with the person I do something physical with next. He seemed aiight with that. Hmmmm....I don't know. We'll see.

Meanwhile, I'm going to San Diego with Randall this coming weekened!!! Whoo hoo! I'm going on a Thursday, and I'll come back on Sunday. This is going to be soooooooooo much fun! We're going to get on a wave runner, go to SeaWorld, perhaps tour an aircraft carrier, maybe go to the Wildlife Safari thingee, see the movie the Mummy (well, maybe), and I'm going to kick his ass at pool. He seems to be very active like me, which I LOVE. I'm sure we'll have a blast. I might screw him on the last night, too. He's a fine specimen of a man. I just hope he's good in bed, too! :-)

Well, I should probably go clean or something. There's so much cleaning to do! I also need to get started with the family reunion stuff. Whew! So much to do! :-)

That's it for me...signing off, unpissed...